You have to take a scientific personality test that determines your sect, same like everyone in Lebanon https://twitter.com/Hezbolsonaro/status/1248357642776399872?s=19
We're also going to need a declaration that under no circumstances whatsoever will you attempt to develop a new hummus 'flavour'
For any Americans wishing to immigrate to Lebanon we're going to need 3 photocopies of your bank statements over the last 17 years, passports, parents passports, birth certificate, declaration that you're not a terrorist, a 92 page application and $1237 in cash
At the heart of this is the realisation that hummus is superior to the US Constitution
The cluelessness of this is a work of art https://twitter.com/verysimple/status/1248268973885579265
Give a big hand to @tamaraqiblawi for getting this published
The turning point of history goes on
Love that the tougher they try to sound the more absurd they appear. https://twitter.com/MirrorBreaking_/status/1248174897886646272
It's officially spring
We won the ideological battle against the virus.
'How's it going?'
Thousands of Easter bunnies are amassing on the fringes of British towns and cities as hordes of zealous police line up, determined to stop them at any cost.
'Oh but I need to jog to stay in shape'. Sit down, you work in finance you're not Usain Bolt
For once science confirms my totally unscientific theories. Stop them now. https://twitter.com/beisan/status/1248027337372860416
This had me in tears
Deputy Headteacher walks five miles a day, delivering packed lunches to his pupils to make sure they still get a school dinner
In a thousand years they'll be finding pottery from the hipster era https://twitter.com/guardian/status/1248008689170038785
Ignore all grand pronouncements.
The positive way to look at this is that 2020 is technically the last year of the previous decade and 2021 will be the beginning of a good decade.
Maybe the thirties will be better