Manchester City are 5-0 up in 18 minutes against Watford. Call the United Nations to stop this savagery.
2009: Social media will allow us to connect with other people in an unprecedented way
2019: Social media made me hate everybody
There's nothing more heartwarming than when you're looking over someone's shoulder and see yourself pop up on their Twitter timeline and they skip past you quickly without reading
In assessing the legacy of modernism, it always strikes how much energy we spend regretting what was erased compared to understanding what was created. It's the triumph of borrowed nostalgia over imagination.
The EU and the UK have to solve this riddle to unlock Brexit: an Irish farmer has a fox, a chicken and a sack of corn that he wants to take into Northern Ireland. The fox is covered by EU Wildlife Trade Regulations, the chicken by the EU Poultry Directive and the corn by EU..
This was literally a running joke in Eastern Bloc countries, people in the queue would congratulate the person that managed to get a chicken https://twitter.com/dvanboom/status/1174806970341085184
Where did everything go so wrong https://twitter.com/dvanboom/status/1174806970341085184
Seeing a lot of people defending Trudeau effectively by saying 'he was too stupid to know it's racist' which is as grand a defense as you'll ever get.
The quote tweet is the greatest thing to happen to passive-aggressiveness since language developed
Motion to rename the 'Arab World' to the 'Somewhat Arab-ish Worlds'
I think the word 'vacuum' should be spelled 'vac m'
No phrase captures the synchronised clichéd banality of the social media mush than 'I wrote a thing'
Labour's definite Brexit policy
This week there were elections in the only democracy in the Middle East and also in Israel.
I love this thing about VAR where the default is to confirm the referee's mistake.
Someone in Brussels must have accidentally pressed the activate button https://twitter.com/alexwickham/status/1173915436284555264
Lots of debate about this, only one way to settle it: how many kisses is the ideal greeting?
My strength is attention detail
The badge is becoming an IKEA manual https://twitter.com/truekingofscots/status/1173876297753341952?s=19
If we're not careful about this we could accidentally start a war https://twitter.com/ShahriarSabet/status/1173870182525263873?s=19