We're also going to need a declaration that under no circumstances whatsoever will you attempt to develop a new hummus 'flavour'

twitter.com/KarlreMarks/status

For any Americans wishing to immigrate to Lebanon we're going to need 3 photocopies of your bank statements over the last 17 years, passports, parents passports, birth certificate, declaration that you're not a terrorist, a 92 page application and $1237 in cash

twitter.com/KarlreMarks/status

At the heart of this is the realisation that hummus is superior to the US Constitution

twitter.com/KarlreMarks/status

Thousands of Easter bunnies are amassing on the fringes of British towns and cities as hordes of zealous police line up, determined to stop them at any cost.

twitter.com/KarlreMarks/status

'Oh but I need to jog to stay in shape'. Sit down, you work in finance you're not Usain Bolt

twitter.com/KarlreMarks/status

RT @eliistender10@birdsite.link
This had me in tears
Deputy Headteacher walks five miles a day, delivering packed lunches to his pupils to make sure they still get a school dinner

twitter.com/eliistender10/stat

The positive way to look at this is that 2020 is technically the last year of the previous decade and 2021 will be the beginning of a good decade.

twitter.com/KarlreMarks/status

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